Just be yourself for fk sakes
Ok this post is hard to do.
When your own flesh and blood decides out of the blue that they don't like what they are doing and to change it all and quit without even a conversation about it. Seriously I thought I wouldn't have a hard time with it but I am. I just can't understand how you dedicate 15 years of your life to a dream, something that you have achieved and then throw it all away like nothing. I mean it is not my decision, far from it, but to go from a career ending injury working hard all offseason, being faster and stronger and more excited than before to prove to the world you belong and then to quit? I'm sorry I just don't understand...I'm trying to but I don't.
I'm not speaking for selfish reasons, nor the fact that I get more satisfaction seeing you on the field than I would myself. I'm speaking for you, five years from now....thinking what could have been as you work the meaningless graveyard beat pounding pavement and handing out speeding tickets. Or worse, like myself, waking up to a meaningless job working with people that could care less whether you quit or stay on as a dedicated employee for 10 years.
I know most of you won't understand this post but for my bro, this was his life. If he didn't want to do it anymore why not quit 10 years ago? When your body hadn't already paid a heavy price for working in this industry for free? Its like a 10 year internship where you work your ass off for 10 years for the promise of someday making money doing what you love.
If its not what you love why the hell are you doing it? Do you honestly think that others close to you care what you do? They are just happy to see you happy and nothing else...if your happy pushing a broom then I'm happy...if your happy playing Peter North in the next feature xxx well I'm happy (just don't expect me to watch it lol).
I know relationships come and go...you can't build a relationship on a lie. If a relationship is why you are giving up a dream then that is the wrong reason. Your partner will pay for this in years to come and more likely get fed up with you and find some weak ass poet (sorry Joe Speaker) to kick your as to the curb too. And then what? You gave up your dreams for this girl and she gave up your dreams to some douchebag who reads a lot of Hallmark.
If the reasons are true, I guess I just have to learn to accept the fact. Don't get me wrong, I'm ok with it, I was simply just trying to support my flesh and blood in what I thought was making them extremely happy. I was there when you broke your collarbone in your sophmore year, I was there when you broke your arm in your junior year and I was there for the great senior year when you took the team on your shoulders and made it a one man show.
I was there when you barely made the Junior team...I was there when you were a standout and were battling for respect when you were clearly more talented than anyone else in your position. I was there when you were the best player in the championship game on your home field. How can I not be broken up about the situation, I really only wanted to see you succeed at something I thought you loved doing. You were living a dream, everyone's dream...most of us would give our left and right nut for even a piece of that pie. But its a pie that I guess you did not want.
Why live a lie? I thought my lessons in love and life would have taught you that honesty is really the only way to live your life. Be true to yourself, that is the only golden rule in my handbook. I have learned over and over again if you aren't true to yourself you will only regret what is around the corner.
All that I hope is that you are happy, nothing more nothing less. Although I'm not sure I would believe you if you say that you are because all the facts contradict that statement.
Sometimes I guess I just don't understand but then again its your life live it as you see fit.
When your own flesh and blood decides out of the blue that they don't like what they are doing and to change it all and quit without even a conversation about it. Seriously I thought I wouldn't have a hard time with it but I am. I just can't understand how you dedicate 15 years of your life to a dream, something that you have achieved and then throw it all away like nothing. I mean it is not my decision, far from it, but to go from a career ending injury working hard all offseason, being faster and stronger and more excited than before to prove to the world you belong and then to quit? I'm sorry I just don't understand...I'm trying to but I don't.
I'm not speaking for selfish reasons, nor the fact that I get more satisfaction seeing you on the field than I would myself. I'm speaking for you, five years from now....thinking what could have been as you work the meaningless graveyard beat pounding pavement and handing out speeding tickets. Or worse, like myself, waking up to a meaningless job working with people that could care less whether you quit or stay on as a dedicated employee for 10 years.
I know most of you won't understand this post but for my bro, this was his life. If he didn't want to do it anymore why not quit 10 years ago? When your body hadn't already paid a heavy price for working in this industry for free? Its like a 10 year internship where you work your ass off for 10 years for the promise of someday making money doing what you love.
If its not what you love why the hell are you doing it? Do you honestly think that others close to you care what you do? They are just happy to see you happy and nothing else...if your happy pushing a broom then I'm happy...if your happy playing Peter North in the next feature xxx well I'm happy (just don't expect me to watch it lol).
I know relationships come and go...you can't build a relationship on a lie. If a relationship is why you are giving up a dream then that is the wrong reason. Your partner will pay for this in years to come and more likely get fed up with you and find some weak ass poet (sorry Joe Speaker) to kick your as to the curb too. And then what? You gave up your dreams for this girl and she gave up your dreams to some douchebag who reads a lot of Hallmark.
If the reasons are true, I guess I just have to learn to accept the fact. Don't get me wrong, I'm ok with it, I was simply just trying to support my flesh and blood in what I thought was making them extremely happy. I was there when you broke your collarbone in your sophmore year, I was there when you broke your arm in your junior year and I was there for the great senior year when you took the team on your shoulders and made it a one man show.
I was there when you barely made the Junior team...I was there when you were a standout and were battling for respect when you were clearly more talented than anyone else in your position. I was there when you were the best player in the championship game on your home field. How can I not be broken up about the situation, I really only wanted to see you succeed at something I thought you loved doing. You were living a dream, everyone's dream...most of us would give our left and right nut for even a piece of that pie. But its a pie that I guess you did not want.
Why live a lie? I thought my lessons in love and life would have taught you that honesty is really the only way to live your life. Be true to yourself, that is the only golden rule in my handbook. I have learned over and over again if you aren't true to yourself you will only regret what is around the corner.
All that I hope is that you are happy, nothing more nothing less. Although I'm not sure I would believe you if you say that you are because all the facts contradict that statement.
Sometimes I guess I just don't understand but then again its your life live it as you see fit.
posted by HCR @ 10:52 PM
2 Comments:
At 9:59 AM,
Guin said…
I have a brother who does stuff like this to drive me nuts as well.... I am guessing that you are the older bro.
Fact is that we want them to keep going and pursue those goals that we gave up (athletic wise) to get an education. In the end I used a few connections and have helped my brother find better work than he should have ever had... maybe your brother also just wanted to get into the rat race like everyone else he knows and sees.
Hard for us to put ourselves in their point of view. Hopefully with more time you will understand the choice (not saying you have to agree) and it ends up being better in the long run.
At 10:46 AM,
HCR said…
Yeah hopefully someday I will understand, however the chance seems remote at this moment.
Being the older one I guess you just want you what you never had (achievable dreams), maybe they don't want that either I guess.
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