Ode to Bobby Bracelet....

Ok I'm not a morning person. At one time when I was in college I was a morning person, I don't have any idea when it all came unravelled. I used to blare music at 6:30am so I could hear it in the shower, much to the chagrin of my parents. All types of music from Nirvana to 2 Live Crew was heard coming out of my basement dwelling.

Now however I hate the mornings, the only time this subsided was fishing up north when I could open a can of beer at 7:00 am and not feel guilty about it. Now this fact in hand I hate conversations in the morning, I would rather take a meat hook and gouge out your eyes than have a conversation that requires any amount of thinking.

I get enough sleep...I workout regularly...I drink very rarely during the weekdays. Not sure what my issue is but I am a morning grouch. I have serious road rage issues in the morning driving to hell work. Is it that hard to get your Honda civic all the way in the turning lane before halting to a complete stop before making a slow crawl into a right turn? Yeah I know you want to avoid either a) hitting the curb because you suck at driving when sleeping and b) flipping your huge civic while going around corners at the high speeds of 10mph and c) putting me into a fit of rage as you block off my lane so that I have to wait at the next four hour red light.

Don't worry that finger you saw I got five of them ready to shove down your throat at a moments notice.

Why are morning people attracted to us non-morningites? What part of the scowl and scrunched up forehead don't you understand? Would it be easier if I just wear a t-shirt of me giving you the finger that would keep you away? Is it my one word answers that are barely audible which encourage more conversation?

Die morning people die.

Maybe I should just drink more coffee...oh yeah I didn't have any today.